People change,

and that's okay!

Some days, I would wake up on the right side of the bed and have a day that’s going really well. Then I notice something that serves as a final piece in a puzzle and all of sudden that thing that happened three months ago at 13:43 makes sense, then I spiral. I spiral so hard it becomes difficult to center myself and put my foot on the ground. Wondering why people did that, why they looked at each other when I mentioned that thing, why they used that tone, why they didn’t tell me…I mean I would’ve understood. Notice how there are so many question marks with a deficit of answers? Well that’s life I guess, a multitude of questions with not enough answers.

We go on about our lives and in the midst of finding the right colours to paint our stories with, we leave people with different shades of ourselves that look similar but never right and we owe the change to them. They made us realize that we don’t like our coffee with milk, made us realize that we actually like talking to people and they were unfortunately not the ones to bring that out of us. When these changes happen, betrayal and confusion are planted and in some situations give birth to accusations and other “validating” emotions, like we’re obligated to feel angry because we got hooked to a temporary character without warning. We become memories to shells of people we knew like home and seem delusional when we want to seek refuge in them again. And rightfully so… I guess.

Well, the moral of the story of today is that people will change and sometimes we may be the cause, we may have the personality that makes some people realize that this is something they don’t want. And that’s okay quite honestly, people change and evolve…sometimes devolve but the main thing is that most times we won’t stay the same and when we familiarize people with rough sketches of ourselves, it feels like betrayal when you eventually show up with the final sketch. Some people will be able to adapt to this new shade of you, even though your shades don’t match anymore but placed together they give to the eyes what the brain wants to keep forevermore. Some of the best relationships, be it platonic or romantic, come from our complementary pairs. Just like complementary colours, we appear brighter when together but when mixed we become bland and create neutral colors, exhibit A, brown (no hate to people who like brown… I like it too, sometimes). Some people we are meant to know only at surface level, because when what you have hidden inside comes to light with what they have hidden inside, it clashes, like two like charges.

So yea guys, some people are really nice when you don’t know them and sometimes you will be the bestest of friends through fleeting conversations. You don’t have to know everyone’s deepest and most profound thoughts, you really don’t, but I won’t ever discourage people from making friends and forming bonds with people; however not everyone is going to be the person you envisioned them to be, so you have to be okay with introductions being disappointing. Also to link this with the intro, people’s odd actions often come to light when we realize that we are faced with different versions of the same person.

Despite all of this though, I pray we all find people who never leave us with question marks, and if they do may the answers never be at the cost of our feelings.